Peaceful Reflection

Sitting outside by the light of the moon,
All is still, quiet, and I know very soon,
As I breathe deep, crisp air fills my lungs,
And the magical journey has just begun;
The Universe without, reflects the divine within,
Such beauty and awe to experience time and again,
All is ever changing, an end is simply the start,
A chance for Love and Peace to reside in my Heart.
Entering into a new dimension,
Free from strife, worry, and tension,
No longer a mere will to survive,
A renewed purpose and space to thrive.
~Kellie Kamryn, 2015
11102654_820834514671002_5097371776884182132_n

 

 

New Release by Diana Duncan!

dianaThe best gifts in life are surprises…

Surprise! Thanks to a blizzard named Blitzen, Christie McQuade can’t make it home for Christmas. Stranded in an airport, things look bleak…until she runs into delicious Deputy Damian Reade, who along with his four-year-old son, Eli, is likewise wondering how to salvage his holidays.

A ’57 Chevy Bel Air christened “Vixen” is their last hope. Christie’s not always the trusting type…but after a background check through her investigative brother clears Damian – and after all, how can a man who’s so patient and loving with his son be dangerous? – she joins them on a Cross Country Christmas adventure filled with fun and surprises…not the least of which is the powerful chemistry between Damian and Christie.

Chemistry is one thing. Heart-tugging is another. And damned if both father and son aren’t soon tugging on Christie’s previously-broken heart-strings.

A child’s unshakeable faith in Santa, his seemingly impossible Christmas wishes of the Jolly Old Man, and a whole lot of holiday magic may lead Damian and Christie to the biggest surprise of all…love.

Although the first two books in this series are Romantic Suspense, this special Christmas novel does not contain suspense. You do not need to read the first two books in order to fully enjoy this story, as it stands alone. However readers of “Laws of Attraction” and “Big Bad Wolfe” will love revisiting their favorite characters and celebrating with them during the holidays.

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

One Voice

1958077_733833400037781_8029893359444335489_n

One Voice

in a sea of millions,

lost

drowning

cut off from their Light,

air squeezed from its lungs,

darkness descends

At first, not aware of what’s happening

it feels bliss to be lost,

anonymous, running free

then

it can no longer breathe

panic ensues

suffering ravages

grasping as the last vestiges of Light are squeezed from its soul….

Hands reach out,

eager faces nod encouragement

Unconditional Love overwhelms, and it struggles to break free

yet the hands hold fast, welcoming

calmness pervades…

Loves chases away the darkness, fills the void

Blind, it slowly climbs through the murk,

unused now to being Heard,

gravelly tones emerge as it surfaces

For one Voice in a sea of millions is too many to be lost

(c)Kellie Kamryn, 2014

The Art of Imperfection

k-3 001

Once upon a time, I was a competitive gymnast…

These days my inner gymnast is disguised as a mom of four, author, narrator, and all round good person. I can still perform cartwheels, handstands, round offs, flips on trampoline, and the splits, which make the guys at the training gym groan. (Mostly because I think they have to learn something they find difficult that I learned a long time ago. Or perhaps they’re thinking that whoever the man sleeping in my bed is—he’s a lucky bastard. And really, most nights it’s my youngest son whom has woken from a nightmare, so no hanky panky there. But I digress…)

During a conversation with a friend, I told him that I wasn’t interested in achieving physical perfection. He said I balked at the very idea because of the experiences I had as a gymnast. And you know what? He was right.

While I never developed an eating disorder as some of my comrades did, I had experiences that shaped the way I negatively saw my body, and exercise in general. When I was thirteen, a coach told me and my parents that I needed to grow my hair long and get contact lenses so I would look “pretty” and this would help boost my career as a gymnast. Notice how none of this had anything to do with my physical abilities or gymnastic talent. I received the message that in order to be successful, I had to be beautiful, and clearly, according to others, I did not measure up. I judged myself by the standards of others, and found myself lacking.

At the age of thirteen – well see picture above.  In the span of a year, I transformed myself by growing my hair long, and getting rid of the glasses. And it worked. Suddenly, I had all sorts of validation from friends, to fellow gymnasts, coaches, and boys at school. I was beautiful, therefore, I would be successful. Right?

Fast forward a few years to when my career ended. I didn’t make the Olympic team as most thought I might, even though I worked hard. Plagued with injuries, I wondered if I’d even aspired to that.  So many wanted me to “make it”, I lost sight of what I wanted. At that point, I felt I’d let down everyone in my life who had tried to make that dream a reality. Talk about carrying guilt.

In university, most of my gymnast friends became fitness competitors, and some girls joined our ranks because they wanted to be like the “beautiful gymnastics girls.” I kind of feel sorry for the image we portrayed, as if by being “one of us” you were automatically cool. An image is just that—a fantasy we portray to the world because our inner world doesn’t measure up. And that’s how I felt for many years.

Upon graduation, you’d think that with my physical education and kinesiology background, and my overachieving ways, I would once again strive to be the epitome of physical perfection. The fact now I have cover models and fitness industry professionals for friends, perhaps I should strive to achieve the outward appearance of physical fitness I feel modern society is obsessed with. To be honest, I used to. After the birth of my first and second children, I did manage to get back to a good weight for me. I worked out hard and ate right. When I found out I was pregnant with our third, while elated at the news, a part of me was upset that I would have to go through this all again, only to achieve my goal weight afterward. Talk about pressure, guilt, and anxiety all rolled into what should have been a beautiful experience. (This is covered in another article.)

After being diagnosed with post-partum depression at the same time as being told I was pregnant with my fourth child, I decided to give up the quest for physical perfection. After a life time of seeking validation outside of myself, I chose to go inward and love myself exactly the way I was.

After the birth of my son, I stopped exercising as if I was exorcising the Devil himself from my body. I chose to start loving every inch of me just the way it was, even though according to my doctor, I was thirty pounds overweight. I carried that weight for a reason. I was insecure, I wanted people to love me, I was anxious, and most importantly—I didn’t love myself.

Over time and with emotional healing, I learned to love me—every stretch-marked inch, both lopsided small breasts, my great calves and muscular shoulders, my soft belly my youngest calls my “squishy”, the roll of skin left over from the C-section, the near-sightedness of my green-hazel eyes, my smile, cute feet, jiggly thighs, curvy hips, and flat butt.

This isn’t to say I didn’t exercise at all. Over the past few years, instead of being obsessed with physical perfection, I learned to listen to myself. I found exercises that were gentle yet effective, I took up martial arts, I stretch every day, and I cut out all sugar from my diet for a few months. I learned that I didn’t have to kill myself through exercise to be healthy, and that physical perfection doesn’t mean you’re healthy in mind, body or spirit. And if loving myself means that I eat better, exercise more, and I happen to achieve what the outside world deems as a “nice body”, then so be it. A “perfect body” isn’t something I’m striving for. Being healthy is.

Once I stopped seeking validation for myself from other people, I learned to love ME. In fact, I like that my body is not “perfect”. From time to time, I put on a bit of weight, but this is usually at a time in my life when I’m feeling insecure or anxious about something. I know that with time, and when I go inside to discover the source of my insecurity, the weight will drop when I no longer need my “squishy armor” of protection.

Earlier this year, I was asked to “play up the pretty” in order to sell my books. I had mixed feelings on this because I want readers to read my material because they like it, not because of the way I look. I realize that a “package” sells a product, which is obvious from companies who mass market products from supplements, exercise equipment, teeth whitening agents, to romance books. Sexy to me is a state of mind, not necessarily what I−or anyone else−look like on the outside. Sexy is an attitude. While I choose to post nice pictures of myself for covers and social media, I also portray the real “me” as much as possible in my articles, and through what I post in public forums.

I told this story to my oldest daughter who is now sixteen. I want her to love herself for who she is, not for what others think she does or doesn’t look like. I want the world to love her as she is, and that will only happen if she loves herself first. Society in general likes to tell us that if only we did this, or used that, we too could be successful and loved and beautiful! And I’m here to tell you that you already are. Every inch of you. But don’t take my word for it—discover it for yourself, and reach what I call a healthy state of imperfection.

IMG_0499photo (7)

Time to Tumble with Devika Fernando!

tumbling

Today I welcome Devika Fernando to the gym! Just for commenting on the post, she will select TWO winners! Each will receive one of her featured books 🙂 profile picBefore we get started, we have to stretch first to prevent injury. Why don’t you share your favourite stretch with us?

Hi Kellie, thanks a lot for having me! I’m a lazy kitty most of the time, but exercise is good for the health, so I’m glad you’re coaching me. I used to do yoga, so what about stretching with the Surya Namaskar pose?

Very good! Time to let out your inner gymnast – if you could, what is the one gymnastics trick you’ve always wanted to learn?

Oh my… I was the chubby, clumsy kid at school who got the simplest things wrong in anything sports-related, so I’d basically have to answer with “all”. *lol* I think what I have the highest respect for are Olympic disciplines like artistic gymnastics on balance beam and uneven bars. I’m breaking my bones just watching those.

So, what apparatus would you like to start with? And may I remind you that playing in the foam pit is always reserved until the end of class.

Can we skip all of them? Pretty please? I need my bones intact for writing…

If you insist….  As a kid what kinds of sports did you participate in?

I had to do all sorts of gymnastics and sports during my high-school days in Germany. I hated it with a vengeance, to be honest. I do like some sports though: badminton, volleyball and hockey.

Good to have “active” interests! In gymnastics we have to keep in top physical condition. Writing is such a sedentary job. What do you do to keep in shape when you’re not typing out your next story?

In Germany, I used to go for longs walks with my husband at the weekends and sometimes play badminton in the park in the evenings. Here in Sri Lanka, it’s way too hot for that. We’ve bought an elliptical trainer, and I try to use it for some time every other day.

Right on! Let’s move onto the balance beam, shall we?

Argh, this is the stuff of nightmares… 😉 Glad I’m having you by my side.

Let’s take your mind off of how high this is and tell me when you decided to write to be published.

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, but becoming a writer / an author was just a dream those days. I started my own content writing business for German and international customers in 2012. Last year (2013), I finally decided to make my dream come true and write my first novel, after doing lots of research on the romance genre, the market potential and self-publishing. I published my first book – When I see your Face – this year in March.

Fantastic! Care to take a swing on the bars?

Thanks, been about ten years since I last had to do this.

There ya go! To be good at gymnastics it takes perseverance and determination not unlike that of being a writer. Tell me how you get through those times when you feel like giving up.

You’re so right! There are times when a writer thinks “I am pathetic, my writing sucks, and I’ll never be successful at all”. I guess that’s natural. What helps me most is having a supportive husband and such wonderful author friends. Interacting on social media, reading something great, and reminding myself of how far I have come usually helps to overcome such lows.

Time to test your tumbling skills. What should we start with – a cartwheel or a roll?

I’ll just hunker down and you can kick me so I’ll roll. 😉

How about we take a break instead? Tell us about your newest book release.

playing with fire cover web

I’ve just published my second book and first paranormal romance novel, “Playing with Fire”, and I’m really excited about it. It’s book one of the “4 Elements of Love” series, and I’ve started writing on book 2.

Blurb:

If you’re playing with fire, prepare to get burned – or to fall in love.

Sparks fly when Felicia and Joshua meet. Discovering her inner fire and unleashing unimaginable powers makes her realize that all her life, she has been hiding her true self. When buildings burn and people are in danger, the tempting game of playing with fire becomes serious. Will their love and desperate struggle for control save her life, or will the fire magic turn itself against its mistress?

Excerpt:

Joshua took a last step closer until there wasn’t more than an inch or two of space between them and she could feel her heat and his coldness warring with each other, testing the boundaries for a chance to leap and attack – or to leap and dance.
When he leaned his face down, Felicia’s breath hitched and her pulse started racing. Inside her belly, the flames shot higher and higher, wanting the kiss that was surely about to happen.
“Don’t,” she whispered despite the almost aching desire to feel that connection again.
Stopping a hair’s breadth before her face, he whispered back, “Why?”
His cool breath that smelled as minty and wintry as the whole man brushed over her trembling lips.
Struggling to put her conflicting feelings into words, she blurted out, “You’ll get burned.”
That purely masculine, dangerous grin tugged at his lips which were so enticingly close that she could almost taste them.
“What if I enjoy playing with fire?” he asked, voice deep and low and full of promise.

Sounds great! Gymnastics was my first passion. Then I found writing. What are your passions other than writing?

Reading, reading and reading. Oh, did I mention reading? *lol* I also love languages and animals.

Since our time in the gym is almost up – what is one thing you’d like to try before we’re done? How about in life – what is one thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet?

Hm, let’s try some rhythmic gymnastics to a great song!  But only if you promise not to laugh, because I have two left feet.

As for life: swimming in the ocean. I’m not a very good swimmer, so I stick to pools, but living in Sri Lanka has rekindled my love for the sea, and I really want to try it out one day.

Thanks for visiting the gym! All the best with your books 🙂

Thanks so much for this chance, it was fun! *limps off with a big smile on her face*

WISYF cover web

 

Find me:

http://www.devikafernando.com

https://twitter.com/Author_Devika

https://www.facebook.com/devikafernandoauthor

 

Buy Links

When I see your Face

http://smarturl.it/wheniseeyourface

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/415664

Playing with Fire

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LYMQ9NK

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/459630

 

Hold Me

IMG_0643 - Copy

Hold me…

Just for a little while…

Embrace me

while I shatter, pieces scattering;

Let me cling to you

as I stumble through the wreckage,

Stand by my side

while I sift through the remains,

Hold my hand

as I create new structure,

Let go

when my strength returns;

But for now…

please

just hold me for a little while…

*Written for a dear friend who was there for me at a tough time in my life, who believed I could heal and get through it. Mere words will never be able to express my gratitude, yet I tried…

(c)Kellie Kamryn, 2014

Under the Covers

shutterstock_16590136

I slide under the covers at night

snuggle into the pillow, close my eyes and

You

are there behind me

body pressed to mine

one hand sweeps over the curve of my hip

dips into the valley of my waist

skims up the slope of my ribcage

and stops at

the swell of my breasts

one thumb strokes my nipple…

The hair on your chest

an erotic contrast to the soft skin of my back

your breath hot on my neck

tickles

I shiver and sigh

sinking deeper into your embrace and sleep

Kellie Kamryn, Copyright 2014

Pieces

shutterstock_114332359

Old patterns and emotions shatter

scattered pieces

reflect back fragments of self

no order

chaos

confusion

darkness envelopes…

Dawn’s rays bounce off the glass

a new puzzle emerges

solvable

I sift through the wreckage

creating new structure

a masterpiece in the making

What exists because of you?

One of my readers/friend in my Facebook Divas and Dudes group said this: “Love your Facebook page. Insightful people, posts and comments. It must be cool to see something that exists because of you.”

 
It brought tears to my eyes and I had to stop and think about it. Some times we go through life, not realizing how we affect people or wondering if anyone notices us at all. So, I began to think about what other things in life exist because of ME:

 
1. My children – okay, I didn’t create them alone, but they came from my womb and it’s kinda cool. Plus, I get to nurture them and help navigate them through life – an awesome responsibility, but the key word is “awesome”.

 
2. My books – whether it’s the ones I’ve written, narrated, or narrated for someone else – I created those. They didn’t exist prior to a couple of years ago, and helping other authors make a new product because of a talent I possess is wicked awesome.

 
3. My friendships – I can’t say “my friends” because they existed without me, but our friendship exists because of effort put into it by both of us, and that is also awesome.
4. My facebook group where I interact with my readers and friends. It’s an awesome and supportive place where we talk about a lot of things and have fun. If you want to join, the link is above.

 
5. My Love for – well everything. If I didn’t nurture the love in my heart, I wouldn’t be able to share it with my family, friends, readers, and the world in general. My Love is unique, it exists because of me, and I love sharing it.

 

How about you? What exists in this world because of you?